You are the way back to myself
Find me for I am lost
I desire your home
Sweet union
31/03/2023
24/03/2023
21/05/2022
Life comes in a whisper
Traipsing around the flat
Coffee in hand
I scuff my foot
And set off the trill rattle of a nursery rhyme
contained in the garish plastic of another toy strewn
across the floor
I pause.
I sit down
I have just stumbled across a relatable moment.
I think of all those who have gone before me
Who have negotiated similar territory
I reflect on last night when I watched them sleep
It had occurred to me then
The multitude of mysteries a baby contains
That we all are, ultimately unknown
Despite the thousand intimacies that surrounded us
as we grew
Our parents never fully held the all of us
Or mapped the landscape of our minds
Some secrets remain
Between the smiles and knowing eyes.
Only the source of all knows us inside out
As I gazed upon my child in wonder
And thought how precious
How unutterably precious
I gained a new sense of being held
Of despite my own loneliness
Despite the relentless expeditions into my own brain
Somehow all is contained
Accounted for
And honoured
I have always been deeply known.
Before me now
This fresh being
Holds so much
And is loved beyond my own limitations
A core of love
Bundled up in that soft flesh
Coiled, life sprung and
Still springing forth
Daily
18/03/2022
Last orders
This is the end of a massive bender
The sun is up on our excess
We can’t stand up any longer
We have not talked straight for thirty years or so
Since the active perversion of science and policy
Walking? that went awry on our way to howl at the moon
Now a sludgy substance lines our stomachs and the bottom of discarded
barrels
Scattered in disarray they litter the scene like death stars
What happened last night?
Did you get their number?
All I remember is hiding in a graveyard from the police
We fell asleep, heads on the tombstone of an elder
That’s where I had that dream
Imagined it all
Underground
Death upon death
Bidding time
Under heat and pressure
The goodness of life consolidates
Waited to give its energy through fire
A huge power we couldn’t wield
Our demise rushing towards us in exponential acceleration
Back in that bar
Another slick suited man tried to whisper to me over the
noise
I remember his smoking languor and rank breath
He slurred something about how we get through 100 billion barrels
a day
So we must need him
Enthralled to massive macho money
We grease their loins for them
And watch them thrust into natures harmony
Watch them oil the machinery of war
Spill their filth over everything
Compromise the very water of this world
Our life blood
A toxic grip constricts every dam breath we take
It is right in there clutching at our lungs
And we long for a perfect world
Hardly
Just a liveable one
Thinking about our next fix even as we downed what was in
reach
We can’t conceal this addiction in a paper bag
Its bursting out the seams of our world
We can’t keep lying
Or pretending
We have to raise our heads
Imagine at new heights
Say yes to the other ways
Get up
Cope with the hangover and tidy up
And this is where I completely break down with the analogy
Millions around the world suffering as I write
Too soon the normal human experience will be one of
Displacement
Thirst
Heat exhaustion
Violence and death
We have to stop oil
And embrace a new day
21/02/2022
Humus Words
Deep the humus words that seek essential sense
Your dark riches evade language
Lock in meaning with nutrients
Pierce the faded flesh of thought
Write hope on the taut wings of a moth
Stretch human longing over the bark of a tree
Reveal the fissures and burs of ancient knowing
A Knowing before knowledge
A being that we see with the heart
Tears track the violence of a face
I am mindful of the many stumps
Of the slashed at and burnt
We have not always worn a mask of greed
Veins that carry sap for healing
Reach to redeem what has been lost
Right relationship, some seamless way
Decay the siren call of life renewed
Underground though not forgotten
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