This heart

Grieving this world in slow motion
The ring pull of my heart pulled back
Contents at risk
of being emptied
Poured out in desperation

Open raw to the wind
This mythic organ swirls and tumbles
Dives between tipping points
Beating in squirming longing
On the axis of a unified vision



My sphere is here, only now
single flow deliberate
true in this moment
My sphere is here, only now
flutter of feathers
echo of a full chest
wind swaying branches
wind swaying leaves
The many layered sound of wind
A kind of silence
Again a sphere is drawn


Dream scape

I tied myself in knots
Caught in a maelstrom of clumsy thoughts
The headlines of other people’s ideas
merging with the unwieldy grammar of my oscillating beliefs

As sleep comes may I be gentle in my dreams 
Let the lucid self surge in an up swell of consciousness 
step towards gentleness
Take me on a tour of the milk beech wood
Swimming in deep caverns of compassion
until the tranquil dawn

In dream land the unknown shadow will reign 
Bubbling out of the cauldron of a boiling brain
Run riot, play and explore
Unbridled energy
Urgently you call from the loosened bonds of sleep
May this body decipher a lurid pattern of forgiveness 


Comfort and Joy

Let us
Knead love to the edges of our existence
Together become beings stretched
Striving for configurations of unity
A core pulsating to the outer limits
Where nothing rests

The abiding marrow still rich in nutrients
Origin of perpetual life
Love hewn from love then bonded new
Let us
live as though it were true
Rejoice in the luminous now
Rest in a kingdom of the eternal present
Amongst this new spaciousness
Find comfort in that elongated hum


I want to find my rebel heart

I am not laden in tattoo’s
Heavily bearded with a gentle swagger
I am not chained to an oil tanker
Locked on, arm tube my sleeve
With a heart of conviction and love

I am not but know not why

I want to find my rebel heart
I know it is there
I have felt it kicking, groaning

This inner bird
Wings beating fast
Flying alone
Just about staying up in the storm
Waiting to be integrated
To come out of the shadows and grow strong

Can I channel my child heart?
That wildness, that curiosity
That lack of shame

Trust alive
Playing outside until it was dark
Scented air turned cool
Breathing deeply
Grass now damp under barefoot
Insistent that this can’t end
Frantic facing the night

I remember climbing swaying trees
Swinging off the low hanging branches
Into waist high grass,
I’d stay crouching, held, still for a moment
The sound of crickets raucous and electronic
Long days, daisy chains and butter glow
Itchy scratches feet to knee
Sudden rain flicking up dust
Clothes on skin wet and grinning

Present as the waves
Paddling in the sea
Sand squeezed between toes
exploring rock pools
Waiting for their mysteries to be revealed
Poised, focused, expectant
These my first meditations

Such memories a profound privilege
How do I transfigure them into a live passion for rebellion?
Join with those brave and lonely souls who have been sounding the alarm for decades
Such courage
Non-violent civil disobedience
Not utopian, limp or simplistic
A strong creative response to evil and indifference
My experiences are partial and soft
I know not of city childhood or a harsher natural world
Of scarcity and ferocious temperament  
Right now as I meander with words defiant defenders are being killed
Standing for their futures and the voices of their past, the origins of myth
Tethered to legends, tradition laced with the roots of trees, connected 
Standing for all, the host of abundant life that still remains
The Amazon both a picture book reality and the air we breathe

Forest once grew where there is now a desert
A burning truth
Species that cannot be reanimated
Vaults of ice breached
Coral bleached
Top soil empty
Lack and unrest already conducting chaos across the globe

I no longer want to cower in the face of toxic systems and my own self doubt
Though materially we need to live within planetary boundaries
Our collective spiritual and relational limits are expansive
Untapped, waiting for more of us to find our rebel hearts
Mine currently teetering on the threshold
Has so much to learn
Small steps are steps still and we can take them quickly

Earth protectors spring up from every corner
The spirit perennial
Is there one essential substance and tone to a rebel
One beating heart
Or many percolating and half told stories
That grow from fragile seed
Tales of intention, duty and love
Bursting with potential and huge in capacity