I want to find my rebel heart

I am not laden in tattoo’s
Heavily bearded with a gentle swagger
I am not chained to an oil tanker
Locked on, arm tube my sleeve
With a heart of conviction and love

I am not but know not why

I want to find my rebel heart
I know it is there
I have felt it kicking, groaning

This inner bird
Wings beating fast
Flying alone
Just about staying up in the storm
Waiting to be integrated
To come out of the shadows and grow strong

Can I channel my child heart?
That wildness, that curiosity
That lack of shame

Trust alive
Playing outside until it was dark
Scented air turned cool
Breathing deeply
Grass now damp under barefoot
Insistent that this can’t end
Frantic facing the night

I remember climbing swaying trees
Swinging off the low hanging branches
Into waist high grass,
I’d stay crouching, held, still for a moment
The sound of crickets raucous and electronic
Long days, daisy chains and butter glow
Itchy scratches feet to knee
Sudden rain flicking up dust
Clothes on skin wet and grinning

Present as the waves
Paddling in the sea
Sand squeezed between toes
exploring rock pools
Waiting for their mysteries to be revealed
Poised, focused, expectant
These my first meditations

Such memories a profound privilege
How do I transfigure them into a live passion for rebellion?
Join with those brave and lonely souls who have been sounding the alarm for decades
Such courage
Non-violent civil disobedience
Not utopian, limp or simplistic
A strong creative response to evil and indifference
My experiences are partial and soft
I know not of city childhood or a harsher natural world
Of scarcity and ferocious temperament  
Right now as I meander with words defiant defenders are being killed
Standing for their futures and the voices of their past, the origins of myth
Tethered to legends, tradition laced with the roots of trees, connected 
Standing for all, the host of abundant life that still remains
The Amazon both a picture book reality and the air we breathe

Forest once grew where there is now a desert
A burning truth
Species that cannot be reanimated
Vaults of ice breached
Coral bleached
Top soil empty
Lack and unrest already conducting chaos across the globe

I no longer want to cower in the face of toxic systems and my own self doubt
Though materially we need to live within planetary boundaries
Our collective spiritual and relational limits are expansive
Untapped, waiting for more of us to find our rebel hearts
Mine currently teetering on the threshold
Has so much to learn
Small steps are steps still and we can take them quickly

Earth protectors spring up from every corner
The spirit perennial
Is there one essential substance and tone to a rebel
One beating heart
Or many percolating and half told stories
That grow from fragile seed
Tales of intention, duty and love
Bursting with potential and huge in capacity



I count your prayers

Weigh them

Pace the space where our dreams once were.


Walk the line of each other’s scars

Tread life into dead tissue.

I watch you

Loiter in the undergrowth

I wait for you

To stumble on my sting



Paying  attention  to  light  again.  The  way  it  flows  and  sits,  plays  and  bathes,  always  present.

The  glare  of  lights  face  unsteady  into  fixed  into  loose  and  shimmering.  The  shapes  of  light,

stripped,  dappled  and  blocked.  Stabs  of  light,  portholes  of  light,  windows  to  other


What  of  the  light  in  me  that  needs  to  be  recognised,  needs  to  connect  with  the  light  in  the

world.  To  be  drawn  out.  To  find  in  bright  step  its  origin  and  fulfillment.  And  the  darkness

in  me  which  waits  in  emptiness  to  wrestle  me  down.

That  dance  of  light  and  dark  an  energetic  plume  of  mystery.  A  creative  force.


Too full
The call is too full
It fills up instantly

Everywhere is promising 

and Now

Brimming with yes

Body a quiet





To The Echelons Of Power

To the echelons of power, wherever you are
It is not too late to turn, please
play a different role
Another world is waiting to manifest

Wont you pacify the grotesque hubris which has you
funding private escape pods
destined for far off planets
What do you have to offer the mystery of space?
Except a profound disconnection with your origin and kin
The unfolding caverns of majesty require an imagination
one that goes beyond your sterile lunges for survival
You vampires of the common wealth
Do not build bunkers out of fear and petrol
Give to regeneration
Stop casting the most vulnerable as fodder
May the word collateral choke in your throats

What remains still extends grace towards you
Still the trees suffocated by indifference give oxygen
and the blessing of a raindrop on your skin is a whisper
Do not only hear a warning of scarcity and acid
In that whisper hear hope too
and turn
Join in and work for regeneration