Today I got swept up in hysteria and goodness
I couldn’t stop crying
The tears were not only my own
Such tears felt cleansing
Today I got swept up in all the emotion
And felt a beautiful freedom
No longer in my own emotion only
It was that same love at solitude and in nature
bursting from my centre
And it was peace hovering over and beyond my sense of self
Today in church group think became irresistible, my uniqueness
gorgeous
And I surrendered my critical mind
Surrendered my defences
I was vulnerable
And then came joy
Sweet joy and strength
I sang the words of old songs
And they didn’t get stuck
I danced in the aisle and my body was exorcised
Later I didn’t fumble over the liturgy
Each word a drum
Pounding life into the flesh of my heart
Whilst singing praise I had new thoughts that led me into
laughter
Those Eureka moments of Hosanna were gentle lessons
Lessons in scale that I cannot slide into worded meaning
I heard the words of someone at the front
And their power was gentle
It was a subversive power
And it wasn’t theirs
I let it in
I was afraid
I am suggestable, porous, in process
I let the power in
It went deeper
Today
Once again I am less sure of myself and my stories
I have circled in and out of madness for a decade
Trust abandons me sometimes
I am more trusting
Things are serious and I have no choice but be a fool
Act justly
Love mercy
Walk humbly
Water words forming as honey on my lips.
I was wordless for while
These are my words.
